I have tried to spill my mind on this several times, yet I have a hard time finding the words.
I want to do this “right”, I want you to know how life is to have you around.
I think the most stark remark I want to make was you were always there. Always there. You always showed up. You always looked out for us. You always checked-in. You always made sure that we knew we were safe, that we were okay. You always made sure that we knew it was okay if we were not okay. Life is not about perfection.
25 years. I have been on this flying moss rock for 25 goddamn years. And you were always there. I have goosebumps when I write that sentence. Life is the most inconsistent beast to navigate, yet you were always consistent. Consistent does not convey exactly the idea I am trying to touch. In an ever-evolving universe you are permanent. You are a promise that will never be broken.
You have been crucial to most of my memories in life. Every birthday, you were there. Every family event, you were there. Every hard conversation, we navigated them. Every time I was close to rock bottom, you caught me. You did it silently. You did it without “strings attached”. You did it because not only do you love me to death, and the rest of our family, but because that is who YOU are. Your friends and I have had many fun (maybe drunk? We can tell mom, she is wild now) conversations when you were off talking to who knows who about the anomaly of you. You are the glue. You bring people together. You bring people up. And you “require” nothing from it. You are a fixer. You are a healer. A caretaker. You bring laughter. You bring happiness.
Julio, you are one of one.
Another idea I want people to grasp is you stayed true to us, and yourself. Growing is the hardest thing I have had to do at times, and my biggest growth spurts were going home replaying the conversations that we had in my head. You showed your faults ( And I mean that in a good way, that I will explain). You were honest about situations that you were in, how you transpired through them, how you grew through them. You were honest in growing, in learning. And for me that was instrumental. I could view my own faults, knowing that I could still be you, even when I was not very happy being me. Sometimes when I left after being around you I had this feeling that I had grown a couple years of maturity in just a few hours.
You are my Uncle, and my best friend, and at times my dad. You answer the phone when I need help at 5 in the morning. You help change my breaks. You help fix the sink and screw the light back into my ceiling. You make sure I am as fed as you and make sure that you know I am loved. You are a teacher. A mentor. A Hero.
With you by my side (and by everyone else’s) I know I can navigate this labyrinth of life. Having you makes stormy days beautiful to watch. Having you makes cold nights fun to shiver in. I am able to make those leaps, knowing that you will be there if I fall. There are only a few amount of people that I have that feeling toward, but you were one of the first. I can travel a lonely road, knowing you will be at the end of it, to help me wash off the dust.
Word to the Bird, My Hero. Happy (belated) Birthday.
